If you know me, and I guess you might not, you would know how much clutter I have. Whether that is in my apartment or in my car, you will find things everywhere… practically, left and right… On top of every chair… and pretty much on any spot, you could lay your eyes on. 

I think at some point in my life my mom gave up, called me “creative” and then started laughing about it. At least we can laugh about it… right?

A few years ago, I talked to a friend who has become a minimalist and she told me how liberating that feeling was for her. 

She told me the rule is if she bought a new item, then she has to get rid of an old one.

I was curious about the concept… and started learning more about it. 

At first, I watched the Minimalism documentary on Netflix. Those clean clutter free places. The men who can pack their bags just in a few minutes. It felt as though if you want to be a minimalist you want to only wear white and black. Keep it simple. 

Then I came across the popular book by Marie Kondo’s, The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up. Oh yeah, things will get better now. 

Her methodology is simple. If it doesn’t “spark joy” and you don’t love it, then get rid of it. 

She said put everything on the floor. All of it. Every single clothing item. Put them all on the floor. Empty your wardrobe… and collect every single piece. Put them all on the floor. 

Then hold each one of them, and ask yourself, “Does it bring me joy?”

If the answer is yes, then keep it. 

If the answer is no, then thank it and let it go. 

If the answer is no let it go, even if you have never worn it, even if it still has the price tag. 

Clothing was just the start… then you work with your shoes, bags, toiletries, books, sentimental items, etc.

To tell you the truth, I was excited. I thought I would finally get a solution to my clutter-FULL life. I did put everything on the floor and I ended up donating 3 big bags of clothing items. 

I didn’t follow her rules by the book though. I was only able to part items that I didn’t love. 

The ones that I loved, I kept for sure. The ones that sparked joy I am never letting go. However, how about the things that are neither loved nor disliked? I couldn’t let go. They are not great, but they are not too bad either. 

I have bought all of those items for myself… with my money, that God knows I worked very hard for it. Do I just let it go? Is that it? 

I couldn’t. 

I look at the pottery that I have created with my bare hands and I think no, I am not letting these go. 

I look at my paintings, even the ones that are not that great, and think, no no, those aren’t going anywhere either. In fact, I have given one of my paintings to a friend and I somehow miss it. 

I look at my painting supplies and man aren’t they expensive and think how can I let those go? I have bought supplies from different countries and they are so damn expensive.

I look at the reports that are printed and think —  that is my hard work. Right here. 

I look at the souvenir gifts I have received and think how could I let these go. 

I look at the expensive electronics I purchased but don’t really use and think but I did spend a whole amount of money on it. 

I look at my accessories and even though I rarely even wear them and think I have chosen every item. I don’t want to let go. 

How can I be a minimalist? Sorry Marie, I just couldn’t do it. 

All of those define me. They are part of me. I couldn’t do it.

In fact, I was thinking of changing my apartment and I couldn’t do it. I am so emotionally attached to it that it started to scare me. It hurts to think of leaving.

They say change is good but is it? Really?

I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t get rid of my stuff with all of the minimalist talks trending. Some people did it. Some were able to, but not me. 

I couldn’t get rid of the stuff I never even use or wear for that matter.

Not until I came across this article “The Science Behind Why It’s So Hard to Get Rid of Clutter” did I start to understand why. It turns out there is a psychology study “Our possessions, our selves: Domains of self-worth and the possession–self link” that explains this and man do I love those kinds of studies.

Our things shape us, they are part of us and depending on how we see a particular possession reflecting our self-worth, we would be able, or not able to let it go. We are not parting a thing that we possess. We are parting a part of us. 

“The extent to which a possession is linked to self is a critical determinant of whether a possession elicits grief if lost.”

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